Dear [REDACTED] Super Meat Boy

Dear Super Meat Boy*,

Go [insert expletive here] yourself

XOXO,

Me

——————

Super Meat Boy is a game about many things, it has many qualities that some people would find infuriating, but not me. The game in itself is pretty good actually. I’m not mad at SMB for being extremely difficult. No, the source of my anger comes from an admitedly far less interesting place.

See, this game is controlled by four keys in total: A (constantly pressed) running key, a jumping key and two directional keys. That’s it. So, please tell me dear reader which keys would you choose to use for each of these.

Done? Great! It almost doesn’t matter what you chose because I’m pretty sure that you didn’t choose SHIFT as the (constantly pressed) running key. That’s what SMB does and not only is it a pinky-destroying configuration, but the game doesn’t have a way to change any key binding**.

It doesn’t sound so terrible until you play for a few hours and your pinky starts to scream in agony.

So, SMB not only has a horrible key binding but it also doesn’t have a menu to change it. Dark Souls, one of the worst PC ports I’ve ever seen has such a menu, what’s this game’s excuse? Oh right, lazyness, sorry, I forgot about that.

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

——————-

*Yes, I’m addressing the game directly as if it were a sentient being, because that’s how I roll.

**Upon further research, it seems that there’s a configuration file where the key bindings can be modified … that’s literally the laziest way possible to do this feature.

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