Savepoints and you

Hello stranger, wanna know all about savepoints? Well then, put down the pepper spray and let me tell you a story:

—————————————————-

Jimmy was a smart boy. He did no drugs, he ducked and covered when a nuclear attack was imminent and most importantly of all, he payed all his taxes. But he had one flaw, he had one key flaw: he liked to play games that feature savepoints.

One night …

– Jimmy, it’s 3 in the morning, it’s time to go to bed.

– But mom! I haven’t saved in days and the first savepoint is only three hours away! I need to get there or I’ll loose all my progress!

– Alright, fine, do whatever you want. Just don’t come to me when your eyes start to bleed.

A week later Jimmy was still playing, with a zombified look on his face, when he suddenly realized something was wrong. At first he couldn’t tell what was out of place. He looked around the room nervously, but nothing had changed in the last three days apart from the piling up of bottles of his own urine. When the dreaded Game Over screen is looming over your head at every second, going to the bathroom is not an option you know?.

Finally, he realized what was off. The noise. No, not the noise, it’s the lack of noise. Everything had gone quite. The birds and various animals of the nearby zoo had suddenly gone quite. But why?

A single drop of sweat springs from Jimmy’s brow. Something bad is going to happen. Something nature-y. More like weather-y. And Jimmy doesn’t like that kind of thing.

Suddenly and without warning, a lightning struck. It was close, very close. Maybe too close. Jimmy just froze there, with his sight dead set on the savepoint. It was ten feet away! Finally! After all this time Jimmy finally got to the first savepoint in the game!

9 feet, 6 feet, 3 feet and then … a random battle. Jimmy cursed the invention of random battles for the hundredth time. “I wonder who in their right mind would design such a unpleasant feature” he said as he frowned a little. He was not pleased.

Jimmy was calmly mashing the X button furiously. He was getting rather impatient by now. Not being able to save until one reaches the savepoint is becoming a noticeable inconvenience. Frustrating even. But worst of all, he can’t shake this bad feeling. He was getting close to his goal, but this feeling was getting worse and worse.

Then, as the random battle was coming to an end, a second lightning struck and everything went pitch black. Just like that, Jimmy’s progress was gone.

Jimmy played a game that uses savepoints. Jimmy was eaten by a grue. Don’t be like Jimmy.

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2 thoughts on “Savepoints and you

  1. LoL! Great take on the most stupid of all “features” of gaming.

    Even with the low storage costs (per GB) and good code optimizations done (I like to believe so), some games still persist on not letting use save anywhere, especially on consoles.

    Savepoints and random battles.. Must be why I’m not a fan of jRPGs.

  2. Pingback: Frayed Knights Pilot Critique Part IV « Indigo Static

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